chinese-zeus:

lollipops are so weird youre literally swallowing your own flavored saliva

bombing:

one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you

hex-girlfriend:

i’m still pissed off about growing up

dominospizzadelivery:

"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"

*opens fridge*

*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*

"It’s bad alright"

highkeygay:

wake up open the curtains

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take a shower then dry my hair

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come down stairs ready for breakfast

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greet the mailman

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