lollipops are so weird youre literally swallowing your own flavored saliva
one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you
i’m still pissed off about growing up
"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"
*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*
"It’s bad alright"
wake up open the curtains
take a shower then dry my hair
come down stairs ready for breakfast
greet the mailman